BKM’s 100% serious, completely accurate Saints offseason assessment (so far)

Between Sean Payton’s surprise retirement, the team’s ill-fated pursuit of beleaguered quarterback Deshaun Watson, and the decision to acquire two first-round picks (no.’s 16 and 19), it’s been one really freaking weird offseason.  There’s still the NFL Draft and a bevy of unsigned free agents out there (who are waiting for a big deal that will likely never come), so the Saints’ plans have yet to fully crystalize.  Assessing their progress now is a fool’s errand. 

Let’s do it anyway!  Here’s how the Saints have addressed their myriad needs heading into the draft, which begins on Thursday, April 28:

Quarterback

Jameis is QB1. You know. I know it. He knows it.

Who’s In: Jameis Winston (re-signed); Andy Dalton

Who’s Out: Blake Bortles (released); Taysom Hill (finally converted to TE)

New head coach Dennis Allen took a big swing in his first offseason when he attempted to trade for alleged serial diddler Deshaun Watson.  In keeping with this questionable baseball analogy, Watson was a funky pitch moving all over the place and the Saints fell down whiffing at it. We all got taken for a ride.

There’s something to be learned from the “Deshaun Missile Crisis,” though: Allen is willing to do dirty things to find his franchise QB.  It very well might be Jameis, who played well enough to guide the team to a 5-2 start in 2021.  Personally, this writer doesn’t believe the hype that the Saints will package their two first-round picks to move up and select a QB.  By all accounts, no one in this rookie class is ready contribute now, and the Saints are in a perpetual win-now state.

If you don’t believe that, look no further than the signing of Dalton, a premium backup.  Clearly, the team wants insurance in case Jameis isn’t ready for camp or if he goes down again.

Wide Receiver

Who’s In: Diddly-poo, unless you count the re-signing of Tre’Quan Smith and Deonte Harty.

Who’s Out: Also diddly-poo.

The Saints desperately need to find a complimentary piece to Michael Thomas, who will be returning after a year on the shelf.  Mickey Loomis has admitted the team is looking, but something has to be done or Jameis will average less than 200 passing yards per game again.

Former Browns WR and LSU star Jarvis Landry (52 receptions for 520 yards and 2 TDs in 2021) visited the team on April 20 but has yet to sign. He offers a very similar skillset to Can’t Guard Mike, but a half-eaten three-week-old surf and turf poboy would be more appetizing than the group the Saints fielded in 2021. Landry would be a welcome addition for a multitude of reasons.

Light your Buddy D celebrity prayer candle and beg the Football Gods to make the team pick at least one WR with one of its first-round picks.  If they don’t draft a receiver at all and don’t sign anyone off the collapsed market post-draft scrap heap, Saints Twitter will step out of the metaverse and into reality, where it will form an angry mob outside of the team facility on Airline Drive.

Running Back

Who’s In: Dwayne Washington (re-signed); Josh Adams

Who’s Out: Ty Montgomery (signed with the Patriots) and probably Alvin Kamara, whenever Roger Goodell decides to suspend him

When/if Alvin Kamara gets suspended for his Las Vegas club brawl will be a litmus test for whether or not Goodell hates us even after Payton’s departure.  Regardless, with Mark Ingram not getting any younger, it would behoove the Saints to add a fresh pair of legs to the backfield.  There’s been radio silence on this front throughout free agency, so drafting a RB could be a possibility.

Offensive Line

Who’s In: No one of note.

Who’s Out: Terron Armstead (signed with the Dolphins)

With Armstead absconding to Miami with a bag of cash, the Saints are without a left tackle.  You know, the most important position along the offensive line.  Considering the fact that Cesar Ruiz is a turnstile and Andrus Peat’s play has been inconsistent when he’s healthy, the line is as questionable as it’s been in a long, long time.

I cannot overstate this: left tackle is the team’s most dire need at this point. Sean Payton and Mickey Loomis (and hopefully by extension, Dennis Allen) have always operated under the Bill Parcells philosophy of everything flowing from the development of the offensive and defensive lines, and there is no position more important than the one that protects the QB’s blind side.

Saints fans will riot if the team doesn’t use high draft capital on a WR, but the truth is, good receivers are easier to find than good left tackles. Picking one in the first round is a must. While you’re praying to the spirit of Buddy D (throw Hap Glaudi in there as well), ask the Football Gods for a tackle in the first round of the draft and a guard somewhere in the top 100.

Tight End

Has Taysom found his forever home?

Who’s In: Taysom Hill; Ethan Wolf; J.P. Holtz

Who’s Out: Diddly-poo.

Finally, we’ll get to see what Taysom Hill can do if the team runs him into the ground as a skill position player.  This group is a bit of a mystery, but Taysom has shown flashes of greatness as an H-Back and receiver.  What does that say about the state of the team’s offensive weapons when the prospect of a quarterback converting to tight end is exciting?

As for the rest of the group, Adam Trautman is bordering on draft bust status and Nick Vannett is…fine.  The Saints opted not to address the position in free agency (with anyone of note) so adding someone young and athletic who can catch some easy mid-range throws (cough, not Trautman, cough cough) is something that should happen.

Safety

No, I’m not interested in buying any magazine subscriptions. Screenshot: @Saints, via Instagram

Who’s In: Marcus Maye; P.J. Williams (on his 100th 1-year deal); Daniel Sorensen; Justin Evans (back from the dead)

Who’s Out: Marcus Williams (signed with the Ravens); Malcolm Jenkins (retired)

Safety has been an absolute circus.  Marcus Williams didn’t seem to have any interest in sticking around and almost immediately signed a blockbuster deal with Baltimore.  In his place, the Saints signed Marcus Maye away from the Jets on a three-year deal.  By all accounts, he’s a fine player – more physical and possibly more versatile – but a bit of a downgrade who’s coming off a torn Achilles tendon and will probably be suspended for a DUI.

The group has been rounded out by P.J. Williams, Daniel Sorensen, who looks like a character model from Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3, and Justin Evans, who promptly missed two seasons after scoring a defensive touchdown against the Saints in 2018.

And then there’s the bizarre world tour conducted by free agent safety and former LSU hero Tyrann Mathieu.  The Honey Badger seemed to be egging on the Saints to sign him via his social media accounts, only to have the team actually invite him to the team facility for a visit.  A signing doesn’t appear imminent and his fit with the defense as it stands remains to be seen, but with Malcolm Jenkins riding off into the sunset, it definitely wouldn’t hurt to add a talented veteran with a reputation as a leader.

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