Give Us Sex. Give Us Drugs. Give Us Rock ‘n Roll in the new Disney Plus “Wakanda” Series

Big news for all of us nerds that are always super horny for any new Marvel content. The young phenom director whose career is taking off on a fucking rocket ship to Mars right now, Ryan Coogler, has agreed (according to Deadline)  to oversee and produce a series for Disney Plus on Wakanda.

Now we do give credit where credit is due here at the Cinema Syndicate. Mr. Coogler did write and direct the Black Panther movie. And we think he did a pretty good job. Aferall, It did rake in over a billion dollars at the box office. It did create a lasting cultural trend with “Wakanda Forever.” And it was overall a pretty damn fun movie. BUT. Nobody and nothing is perfect. And we’ve never been ones to shy away from offering our pretty little opinions. So here’s three things I’d love to see developed more in the Wakanda universe. And those are: More Sex, Drugs, and Rock n Roll.

SEX

Now I know this is Disney Plus. And I know this is the Marvel Universe. So it’s family friendly and lacking the more graphic sex appeal that its adult fans crave. But tight fitting spandex outfits and a creative, suggestive imagination can usually satisfy the cravings. With that said, Black Panther may have been one of the most un-sexy movies in the whole MCU canon. First of all, Kilmonger kills his girlfriend. Ruthless and disturbingly badass. Sure. But quite un-sexy. And secondly, the king of Wakanda himself gets a mad case of the blue balls from his leading lady. I mean, he’s the fucking king, and this woman thinks she’s too busy tutoring under privileged children or something to give him any. King T’Challa defeats Killmonger to save his country but he loses to an illiterate child to get a girlfriend. Totally unrealistic. And decidedly un-sexy. So yeah, my suggestion to Ryan Coogler for this series is, in the words of Steve Winwood, to “Gimme Some Lovin.”

Now, how would we do that? That’s the over million dollar question and why Mr Coogler is in charge of creating the series and I’m just blogging here for free. But here’s one idea: A Romeo and Juliet type love affair between two warring tribes. Now would this be cliche? Hell yeah. Could it work and still be sexy and good? Oh you betcha. And what better way to develop and explore the cultures of the other Wakandan tribes than with a forbidden love affair? The sneaking around, the passion, the fighting. Have some princess from the Valley sneaking around to visit the Mountain tribe. Riding around on some vibranium plated Rhino that has a stealth mode setting. That’s right. Armor plated animals that can’t be detected by the naked eye or radar. That’s what’s possible in this world and that’s what we want to see.

DRUGS

Again, maybe not the most kid friendly topic to undertake. But it’s still something worth considering Mr Coogler. This is afterall a civilization that was terrorized by Thanos, his minions, and his army of rough riders. And presumably, this civilization just lost its beloved king too. At least I presume that’s how they’re going to craft the story since Kevin Feige said they would not be recasting the T’Challa character after Chadwick Boseman’s passing. So what do people do after being subjected to abhorrent pain and suffering. Drugs and alcohol of course. And why is this worth exploring? Because this is the most technologically advanced culture in the world. Which means they probably have the best healthcare in the world. Which could lead us down the path in logically assuming too that they have the best pharmaceuticals in the world as well. That’s right. Wakandan grade Oxycontin and everyone in the city needs their fix. That’s right. What once was a vibrant utopia hidden from the world has now been decimated into a civilization ravaged by a weapons grade opiod crisis. Shuri, child prodigy technological genius. Now out of control, rudderless, and handicapped with grief over the loss of her brother and crippling addiction. Drug lords rule the city. The people crying for help and leadership. Oh god. Now this is a series. Again, who gives a shit if it’s kid friendly. Let’s see it.

ROCK ‘n ROLL

Now, we’re gonna interpret this one pretty liberally. Do we actually want to see Rock ‘n Roll in the Wakanda? I mean, we’re not opposed to it. Wouldn’t mind seeing dudes shredding on vibranium instruments. That’s not a terrible idea. But what I do want to see is more of the artistic culture of the city. The movie focuses on some of the traditional aspects of Wakanda. Not the young, vibrant, creative side of it. So yeah, the tribal dances and songs were cool. But let’s see something new. And not just that, let’s see the pain and suffering of being an artist and musician too. Again, Wakanda was depicted as a sort of Truman Show like utopia in the movie. But just because the city/country has untold amounts of wealth doesn’t mean that it cures the inherent flaws of being human. So lets see some jealousy. Let’s see some pettiness. Let’s see a kid disappointing his rich Wakandan parents for choosing to go to art school instead of wanting to enter the family vibranium business. Or now that Wakanda is open to the world, let’s see a band from the US come tour over there and it pisses some local band off. I don’t know. But when we last left Wakanda in the “Black Panther,” they had decided to open the country to the world. Exporting culture can be a profitable thing for the local artists in Wakanda. But importing culture can also be the end of some people’s business too. Sort of rambling here. But these are the sort of conflicts that can be interesting to explore in a series.

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