5 Show Ideas for the New “Harry Potter” Series On HBO Max

If you haven’t heard, the studio that just had an ugly divorce with Christopher Nolan, Warner Brothers, is in the early stages of developing a “Harry Potter” based series for HBO Max. Does that mean the boring ass character of Harry will be in it? God we hope not. We don’t want more Harry. He sucks, he’s boring, he has barely any relatable flaws, and he was just the vehicle to show us the world of magic. So please Warner Brothers, don’t drag his ass into this. And that’s why we’re here to help. To offer you 5 AMAZING ideas for the new series. 

Before we get going. Let’s set some ground rules here. Even though these are ideas for a fantastical, wizarding world where anything is possible. We have made these ideas within the realm of plausibility. As in, we think these could actually become TV shows. Because yeah, there’s tons of shit within the Harry Potter universe that we’d love to see. How Hagrid’s tiny dad impregnated his giant mom, the wild world of the forbidden forest. How centaurs fuck. Are they attracted to humans, horses, or just centaurs? Yeah, we want to know. But all that stuff just isn’t suitable for TV so we have to leave it to our sweet sweet imagination and for freaks to write erotic fan fiction about. So here we go. Five plausible show ideas for all the Potter heads out there that we want to see.

Number One: “The Marauders”

Maybe some things are left best to the imagination. But the generation of James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Lilly Potter, and Severus Snape feels far more interesting character wise than anything in the original series. Love triangles. Students turning into animals. Werewolves. Bratty ass students. Probably a lot more sexual tension. And of course these assholes created a magical map. Fucking wizarding Magellans discovering hidden passage ways and practicing cartography on the side. We need this series. It’d be Freaks and Geeks meets Skins meets the Wizarding Universe. Just do it.

Number Two: “Office Of The Minister”

The West Wing meets the Harry Potter Universe. And that’s “Office of the Minister.” I’m going to give the writers and producers a little bit of creative freedom here. Because I don’t want to see any of the Ministers of Magic that we met in the books or movies so far. So no Cornelius Fudge. We want to see how the Minister responds to the first reign of terror from Voldermort or make it a totally modern show. I don’t care, but one of the best chapters of the whole series in the books was when the minister had to reveal himself and explain to the muggle Prime minister exactly what was going on, and we want more. So let’s see that relationship develop. 

Number Three: “Escape From Azkaban”

Now this can be the Sirius Black story, or if the writers and producers are feeling frisky and creative, they can create a whole new character. We’re undecided on that. But what we’re absolutely decided on is that we want to explore the world of Azkaban more. We need dirty prison wardens. Think Shawshank or maybe a nurse Ratchet type. Either way. Just a person that absolutely hates him/herself and their job and takes out their frustrations on the prisoners. We need more innocent wizards. We need evil wizards. We need wizard gangs. Is there prison rape in the wizard world? We’ll get answers to that. But most importantly we need a Dementor backstory. What are they? Do they reproduce? And if so, how? If not, are they nefariously created by the ministry to keep the populous in check? Can they love? Are they on the clock? What do they do in their free time? I don’t know but we need to know. And in all this, we get to know an innocent prisoner (Count of Monte Crisco esque) and his motivations to get out to return to the family/woman he loves. Oh god, give us this series.

Number Four: “Order of the Phoenix”

It’s already been covered in this blog, but the generations before Harry and the gang are way more interesting and we deserve to see them in their primes fighting the death eaters. So give James Potter, Sirius Black, Lupin, The Longbottoms, Hagrid as a beast and let’s see them go to toe to toe with Vodlermort and his minions. Not really sure what show we can compare this to. This may be better suited as a movie but either way we’re talking untapped potential here, and it needs to be brought to life.

Number Five: “Weasley Matters”

We’re gonna end this one on a light note just in case Warner Brothers wants to do a campy sitcom. And if they want to go that route, then there’s no better subject to base it on than the lovable bunch of goofballs that are the Weasley Family. Now, I’m uncertain when to set this. Ideally you want all the kids around, but Mr and Mrs Weasley as empty nesters could be funny too. I’m obviously thinking Family Matters or Full House as inspiration, but with a heavy influx of wizarding shenanigans. Think the first episode of WandaVision but in color and maybe an Urkle/nosy neighbor character that routinely pops in and causes havoc at the Burrow. I personally would love to see a wizarding Urkle. Someone that’s creating weird potions and spells. Destroying his garage and shit. Mr. Weasley of course loves him but Mrs Weasley can’t stand having him around. Oh god. Hilarity ensues. Let’s do it Warner Brothers.

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Cinema Syndicate

The high octane, hot take spewing podcast where an Anglophile in Acadia, a Bay Area Drummer and E Commerce Impresario, a Litigious Lothario, and a Wannabe Screenwriter review your favorite movies.

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